The Big Chop


So yesterday my son had his first haircut.. I figured the barbers opened at 9am so if I get there at 8:55am my boy would be the first one in the seat – boy was I wrong – try EIGHTH! Eight people, two barbers… shouldn’t take too long right???? WRONG.
Half an hour in – a well fed and well rested bubba... this shouldn’t be too bad. He just wants to sit on my lap and give me cuddles.  An hour in – FARK he’s getting sleepy… aaaaand he’s drifting. Yup he’s gone… And now I have a dead arm.  An hour in – was that my stomach growling or my little’un farting? Ugh here come his sleepy booty trumpets (he takes after his dad there). Two hours in – he’s awake. He’s awake and he’s hyper. He’s awake and he’s hyper and he wont stop trying to stick his fingers in the portable heater/ plug sockets. Where has his shyness gone and why is he so comfortable wandering off in a room full of loud strange men? Cbeebies on iPlayer isn’t keeping him occupied him like it usually does and it’s all I have. Well aside from the mini Milky Way I have stashed in his changing bag.. But that's for keeping him still during the actual cut I CANT USE THAT NOW. And there he goes near the heater again, damn, this isn’t going well… TWO AND A HALF GODDAMN HOURS AFTER OUR ARRIVAL and its finally his turn!!!! I’ve heard horror stories about the waiting times at the barbers and boy were they accurate. All that’s running through my head is he’s not going to sit still. He’s going to kick and scream. I don’t really fancy sitting on the chair with him and getting a mouthful of hair so the barber plops him on a booster cushion and wraps him in his cape and voila, we’re ready to go. Surprisingly, he sat very still, only fidgeting when the barber got near his ears. No need for that cheeky Milky Way bribe then.



Now admittedly it’s a lot shorter than I wanted it but his hair had grown in extremely long and curly at the top and short at the back and sides so it had to be cut low. What surprised me more than his lack of hair length was how much people are questioning my judgement. Quite a few people have made criticising comments about how short it is and how he’s too young and I’ve found myself having to explain my decision over and over again. I didn’t just have it cut because it was a mess (but frankly, it was). It was cut because he’s had cradle cap twice since he was born and it had thinned his hair at the back and sides to the point where he was losing it during brushing and the top was so long and unmanageable that it would knot and matte again soon after it was combed. It was time for a fresh start. People seem to be forgetting it’s my decision. He’s MY child. It’s hair, it grows back. Its not like I decided to dye his hair or give him semi permanent tattoo brows. And I may be bias but he’s still gorgeous. That being said it hasn’t even been 48hrs yet and I’m already missing his curly whirly hair and upset that he looks slightly older than before. All I can do now is wait for his afro puff to grow in thicker this time. Maybe if I stroke it like a genie bottle it'll grow faster...




N.B No I did not keep a lock of his hair. Why? Because it looked like that clogged hair pile that gets stuck in the drain when you pull the plug after washing your hair. It wasn't a lock, it was a pile of fluff. Where would I have even put it??? I'm not going to be one of those parents that collects weird keepsakes (namely my dad whose kept 8 teeth I had pulled out in hospital about 15 years ago. And I don't just mean encased in a fancy glass shell, I mean in a small tub that he gets out and cleans every few years. Ew.)

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