#1 Introducing Isadora

Every so often I'm aiming to publish feature posts written by parents from different walks of life (whether it be single parents, blended/extended/nuclear/same sex families, or even long distance families and those trying to conceive) because it's 2018 and I think we all know by now that there isn't one 'right way' to raise a child and every walk of life is just as worthy as the next. And lets be honest, we can all learn a thing or two from someone with a different perspective. 

This month I spoke to Isadora who was in the same classes as me in University and was pregnant about a year or so before me. If I'm honest she was one of my motivational factors to finish University - if she could do it, I could too!


Although my first pregnancy was unplanned my partner was over the moon at the news of me being pregnant with his child. Both of our families were also very supportive. I had actually set my mind towards getting an abortion. I felt scared of the life changes but I also wasn't sure that I wanted my boyfriend to be my future children's dad. We hadn't been together long (6 months by that time). Although we were inseparable from the minute we met and were living together, I felt that you should be with someone longer to figure them out more. But he talked me out of it and convinced me to have our baby, which I now I am actually so glad that I did!

It was not until we returned home from the hospital with our baby that the real difficulties began. And by home I mean a bedroom in his parent’s house, a room for the three of us. We had given up our one bedroom flat in Chingford, London, which we rented on our own prior to us having the baby. This was because our families made us feel that we needed a bigger space and as if we wouldn’t be able to afford our own place once the baby arrived due to the fact that he was a mechanic apprentice and I, a student on a loan. However, living as a small family with another family later on proved to be difficult. As well as lacking privacy, his family problems became our problems too and ours theirs. It was inevitable as we all lived together, causing a lot of tension.

With this and being crammed in a little room and with little money, we began arguing and cracks in the relationship began showing.

Six months down the line we decided it was time to move out and into our own space. We began to rent a two bedroom flat, located in Southend-On-Sea. This was an area that we could afford to live in and had good transportation links to my university as well as his work. It was a positive change as our relationship improved drastically.
At times I doubted that I would be able to complete my degree, which I did. I still had one more year to finish off after I fell pregnant and I really did not know what to expect. The two things that hit me hard were: finance and time. For me to study and complete my coursework, I needed baby support. The nursery’s price was his weight in gold. Plus space at the nursery for the extra days that I needed were limited. Funding for it was as well, as I was living off of my student loan, a part time temporary job as a Brand Ambassador and help from family.

How did I complete my uni work? By staying up until 5 am when my baby was asleep.

He’d also often fall asleep on the train during our one-and-a-half hour journey to and from university, so I’d take advantage of this time by completing some work. Plus on Sundays, during the last couple of months of my degree, my boyfriend would take our baby out for the day. He worked six days per week, so that was the only time off that he got. This also gave me some more time to finish off my final pieces of work. 

My boyfriend had motivated me to change my downhill lifestyle to a healthy and ambitions one and life felt so good with him in the picture that he inspired me to keep my second one (who was also unplanned). The second time around I was confident because me and my boyfriend were in a good place in our relationship. I had completed my degree and felt more financially stable from savings and my partner had a new well paid job (we would be able to get by if we worked together).
Soon after my daughter was born in June 2017, I was faced with a situation that caused me to become an evicted single mother of two babies. This left me with little choice but to start a new life elsewhere. Having found a well-paid job and accommodation in Geneva, Switzerland (which is where I was born and have family who live there) I chose to move in November 2017. However, upon arrival I was faced with the issue that nursery spaces are extremely limited with a waiting list of 2000 people. Therefore, now my only source of income is financial support from the government until I can find a reliable carer for my children. 

Overall, as I am a very affectionate person who is always craving love and childish fun, having my babies has been absolutely wonderful in those terms. I feel so fortunate to have such strong, happy and above all healthy babies. The biggest difficulty I have encountered in this experience has been financial. Consequently, I would advise those expecting a baby to prepare by budgeting extremely well for whatever difficult situations that they may find themselves in. Plus, to always keep their independence and to never give it up to anyone, be it to a partner or even any other family members.

Follow Isadora on Instagram @IsadoraBucher

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