So, here's where I'm at...

I took a brief interval from writing because frankly I haven’t had much to say. Co-parenting was going well, the sun was shining and all was good in the world (for me anyways). It didn't last long though, so here's where I'm at..

I’m ballooning..

I didn’t have to hop on the scales to know that I’m the biggest I’ve ever been. Post-pregnancy hasn’t been kind to me at all, neither has my hypothyroidism (tiredness and weight gain are both symptoms I suffer with). My pregnancy weight didn’t shift like I hoped it would after I’d given birth and my diet has been so piss poor (damn you Jaffa Cakes!). I've been putting off doing anything about it for a while now because somedays I care, sometimes I don’t. It’s usually the latter therefore takes a backseat. Since having my son I’ve been so focused on trying to bring him up the ‘right’ way, whatever that is, and I haven’t put any focus on getting myself right. And I usually don’t care, all-in-all I’m happy, BUT I don’t want to be the mum that cant keep up and trails behind my son at the park, gasping for air with every footstep. That wouldn’t be fair on either of us.
Instead of sitting there feeling sorry for myself (which admittedly I did for a while) I’ve decided to take a more active approach. Step one: becoming more active. I ended up buying a Fitbit to track how inactive I am and to set realistic goals about how active I plan to be. There was no point setting my minimum daily step count to something totally outrageous like 300,000 steps because I’d fail everyday and feel even shitter about myself so I’m keeping it realistic and achievable. The thing even vibrates when my fat arse isn’t being active enough!!
Step two: getting my diet in check. I’m still trying to work out all of the kinks in terms of getting a babysitter so I can really commit to the weekly sessions but I plan on joining Slimming World within the next month. I’ve seen so many success stories from participants and I like that they count ‘syns’ rather than calories. The thought of walking into a room and being measured in front of everyone is daunting but I think after the first meeting my nerves will settle a bit and I’ll be more comfortable attending them. Wish me luck!

I started to question how much I post about my son online..

It started when a strange (and quite dodgy looking) man approached my son and I when we were at the bus stop. He kept telling my son how cool he looked and went in for a fist bump with my boy (which I wasn’t worried about because I know my son and there was no way he was going to fist bump a strange man), who backed away and grabbed tightly onto my leg. Said man then smiled and went on his way – or so I thought.
About four or five minutes later he’d decided to double back and his silhouette started getting closer and closer (as if there was something he really needed to do. This man was in a hurry) then I realised he was coming towards us again. Did I mention that he was whispering something on the phone while he was walking back to us? He stopped and asked me if he could take a picture of my son. *ALARM BELLS!!!* Why did he want a picture of my son? I know he was looking cute that day but that’s weird, right? A grown ass man asking for a picture of my little boy…?? Who was he on the phone to? Were they plotting my sons kidnap? Obviously, I told him no in the nicest possibly way and he apologised and walked back the way he came. Wait....... did he really just walk all that way for a photo of my son?? Adding ten whole extra minutes to his journey? Hmm..
Okay, so the kidnapping plot was a stretch (I hope) but at least he asked my permission and didn’t just assume he could and take one anyway… And as weird as it was he was only asking for what I was going to post online anyways. I like to think that I’m really careful about what I post online but there’s no real control over its reach. It only takes the wrong person to get hold of his pictures (or any of our kids pictures in fact) and that’s it. How am I so comfortable with sharing pictures online to a bunch of strangers but get uncomfortable at the thought of someone in the street asking my permission for a photo of my boy? It puts things into perspective….

And last but not least: Co-Parenting turned into COPE-parenting..

Because yet again I’m having to cope with the stress of not seeing eye to eye with the father of my child. Call me crazy but I don’t think you can justify complaining about how much you miss your child and want to see them when on the days that you do have off of work you choose to do everything but see them *shrugs*. I don’t think you understand how well co-parenting had been going; I don't remember the last time we'd bickered.. We had been seeing eye to eye on almost everything, found a balance which meant he got to see his son every week and co-parenting became (dare i say it) easy.. We were even planning holidays. But alas, at this current moment in time it’s a shitstorm *rolls eyes*. I suspect it'll fix itself soon and is just a co-parenting hiccup but it's just so goddamn frustrating and stressful, isn't it?

So i suppose you're all caught up now.. My Lucozade buzz is just about worn off and I’m ready for bed, so Ciao!

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